


Not Going To Give Up

by Tyler_KB



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Ableism, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Aromantic Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Autistic Keith (Voltron), Autistic Pidge | Katie Holt, BAMF Pidge | Katie Holt, Before Space, Bilingual Hunk (Voltron), Bilingual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Computer Programming, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Depends on how I feel cause Pidge is chill with both, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Galaxy Garrison, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Hacking, Homophobia, Implied Matt Holt/Shiro, Insomnia, Italian Pidge (Voltron), Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Knowledge Dumps, Lance and Hunk are the best friends, Matt Shiro and Sam are missing, Minor Matt Holt/Shiro, Non-Verbal Pidge | Katie Holt, Nonbinary Pidge | Katie Holt, Pansexual Hunk (Voltron), Racism, Samoan Hunk (Voltron), Sexism, Special Interests, They love Pidge so much and protect her from bullys, They protect Hunk and Lance too, Transphobia, meltdowns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-18 05:03:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14205675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyler_KB/pseuds/Tyler_KB
Summary: They were missing and no one was doing ANYTHING to help them.I'll make them all believe; Shiro, Matt, and dad are NOT dead.The Garrison can tell me what they want, the kids can yell and hit me if they want, but I WILL find them no matter what.NOTHING is going to stop me.





	1. Before The Garrison

**Author's Note:**

> Made for Pidge's birthday <3

"All crew members are presumed to be dead..."

No.

 _NO_.

I can hear mom let out a sob, even my eyes well up in tears, but I just glare at the tv, commanding it to change what it just said, to _take it **back**_.

I run back up the stairs, slamming my bedroom door, covering my ears as I crouch down and scream as loud as I can.

My brain hardly realizes that I'm banging my head against the door, the sound echoing throughout the room, but I don't stop even when I do notice a headache forming.

I think I'm still screaming, but I can't tell because everything is _so **LOUD**_.

Everything just needs to _shut the **FUCK** up s **o I can THINK!**_

* * *

 

I need to go to school, but I can't convince myself to get out of bed.

My meltdown lasted four hours, until about 1:30 am, and after that I refused to go to bed until five (when I passed out because I haven't slept much in the three months since Matt and dad left) because I needed to find as much information as possible, but to find the information I really need, I have to get into the Garrison.

They start accepting at fourteen, so I have three more weeks, but that's  _too long_.

I need to find Shiro, Matt, and dad _NOW_.

The government is in my way, dad made me promise not to transform my hacking skills to black hat, to remain a white/grey hat hacker, but I can't keep that promise anymore, I _NEED_ that information no _matter WHAT._

"Katie?" My mom says, knocking on my door lightly.

I reach over to grab my AAC, typing out my reply so I don't have to talk.

"It's Pidge mom..." Rover, my AAC, says back in his British accent, I turn over to face the opposite wall, setting Rover down next to me.

"I'm sorry Pidge, may I come in?" She asks, I press the 'yes' button, letting Rover read it out to me.

I hear my door open, I hold my owl plushy, their name is Owley, tightly, curling up into a ball.

Mom doesn't sit on my bed, instead pulling up a chair and sitting a few feet from my bed.

"You were up late huh?" She asks, and I nod.

She signs, "can you sit up, Pidge? I want to see your face please." I frown deeper, but sit up anyways, putting Rover and Owley in my lap, keeping my eyes on my space blankets.

"That's better, now I can see my beautiful child," she smiles at me for a moment before frowning, "you heard the news huh?"

I nod, typing something out on Rover.

"Yes, but Matt and dad are not dead," Rover reads, "Shiro is not either."

For me, putting a name into Rover is very personal, you have to be important for me to do that, it took me two years to add Shiro despite him being a 'honorary family member' according to dad (which I don't understand, none of us are related to Shiro that I know of?) and Matt's boyfriend, plus the adopted brother of my 'best friend' Keith.

I frown, remembering Keith.

"Where is Keith? Where will he live?" Mom closes her eyes, wiping them when a tear falls.

"We don't know, we're trying to find him, but once he was kicked out of the Garrison...he seems to have disappeared, the last time anyone saw him, he was exiting Iverson's office with his suitcase and backpack," mom explains, staring at me.

"No," Rover reads, "Keith needs to be here." Mom chuckles, I frown.

"Why are you laughing?" I type and let Rover read.

Mom sighs, "I'm not Pidge...it's not a funny situation...we're trying our best to find him."

"You are not trying hard enough."

Mom nods, "I know Pidge...I need to go to work today, and you need to go to school okay?"

I shake my head, holding Owley.

"Pidge...you can't be home alone...please don't fight with me dear..." I glare at my bed, shaking my head with more force.

"I am not going, the kids hate me and I am tired." Mom frowns, scrunching her eyebrows.

"They hate you? What do you mean?" She asks, setting her hand on my bed.

"They call me names and push me every day, they hate me and I hate them." I cross my arms, letting mom think.

"Okay Pidge, let's make a deal okay?" Mom asks, and I nod.

"You want to go to the Garrison right?" I nod, "well, I'll let you stay home today IF I can convince Mr. Jameson to let me do work from home, if not you will be going to work with me okay?' I nod again, "but today is the last day, you only have a few months left of school, if you can complete middle school, then you may apply to the Garrison alright?" 

I smile, a small plan forming in my head, I nod.

"Okay, let me go call Mr. Jameson and you go back to sleep if you can, I'll be back to check on you in a few minutes, Pidge," mom tells me, standing and putting my chair in it's spot, looking at me for a few minutes then walking out of my room, closing the door behind her. 

 

* * *

Sleep has never come easily to me, it's been normal for me to be awake three days in a row and completely crash in the middle of the day...it's been like that for as long as I can remember, and once I started recognizing my special intrests more and more, it just became worse.

My family has tried to help with therapy and trying to drug my food with sleep medication, but I hate taking medication and refuse to eat if I realize there is anything in it, so for them it was either I sleep or eat, not both, they chose eat and hoped my insomnia would go away.

It hasn't, but that doesn't bother me, four am is the best time to work on finding Shiro, Matt, and dad.

It's been two months now, and I only have two and a half more weeks of public school.

I was accepted into the Garrison a week ago, so in three months and two weeks I'll be going there, where I'll be able to hack into their network easier and get better information.

Dad's laptop was Garrison issued, but it didn't have all the information I needed, my laptops can't get the ended information either.

From what I can tell though, the government is _bullshitting us_.

The information I can gather isn't much, but from what I can see, there is no evidence of a crash on Kerberos, so it couldn't have anything to do with a 'pilot error' (like the Golden Boy Takashi Shirogane would make a error on anything, much less something this important).

Meaning they are hiding something from us, something _big_ and I will find it if it _kills me_.

We also still haven't found Keith, or so everyone thinks.

I found him, but Keith swore me to secrecy by using our 'Crypid Law', where if one of us decides to become a crypid the other is not allowed to tell _anyone_.

But Keith promised he was safe in his dads old hunt, which is a few miles from the Garrison, and that I was allowed to visit him if I know for a fact no one is following me.

Like I would lead anyone to Keith, he is my only friend besides Matt and Bae Bae.

Keith thinks aliens took our families, and all the proof he's sent me over Rover (which I had reprogrammed a bit to allow messages) is making me think that could be a possibility.

Which means I won't only have to defeat humans, which I already can't communicate with very well, but also _aliens_...but maybe I can communicate with them better than I can humans...like how I can with Bae Bae.

Once I reach the Garrisons I'm going to build something so I can pick up on what is happening near Kerberos, because if Keith is right, the aliens might still be there.

And if they are they, then maybe our families are too.

 


	2. At The Garrison

They kicked me out.

They **_kicked me out_**.

I want punch Iverson in the face...multiple times...with a metal chair...until his brain starts working again and he realizes that my family is **_not dead_**.

But no one will listen to me!

I had wanted to cut my hair anyways, Matt made me promise we go would together after he got back because I hate changing how I look so he thought it was a big deal, but now I have no choice.

I have to do it myself.

From now on, Katie Holt offically doesn't exist, instead I am now offically known as Pidge Gunderson.

I decided to wear them myself, but Matt's glasses don't feel right on me. He gave them to me after the Garrison fixed his eyesight for Kerberos and it didn't take much to change the lenses perscription to my own. I did wear glasses, but when the kids at my school made fun of me I changed to contacts.

Now that I think of it, Matt's eyesight is a lot worse than mine.

I had to sign up as a fifteen year olf instead of a fourteen year old for Pidge, it wasn't difficult to get all the fake papers I didn't, so I was paired with two boys in the grade above the one I should be in.

Lance McClain and Tsuyoshi 'Hunk' Garrett, friends that met online two years ago.

When I learned their names I did a deepweb search on them to see what I could find, all of it was interesting but...kind of boring if I'm honest.

Lance is from Cuba and was born on July 28th, the fifth born of seven siblings. Most of his family lives in Cuba still, but his oldest sister married an Americcan man and now lives up in Washington. He's bisexual and proud of that, though has only had one boyfriend that lasted two months, his longest relationship being seven months with some girl I didn't care to remember the name of. He was a A and B student, weakest in writing/reading and can speak Spanish fluently and English about half fluent, though he makes due. 

Hunk is Samoan, born on January 13th, and the youngest of two, his older sister being seven years older. He moved to America with his mom after his father died when Hunk was three, five years later his mom remarried a woman who offically adopted Hunk and his sister. His family owns a cafe in Texas, but one of his moms works at NASA as an aerospace engineer. Never been in a relationship and got all A's except in history, which was always a lower B. He speaks both Samoan and English fluently, and often switches back to his native language when nervous (which is a lot).

Though Hunk and Lance don't know much about me, they think they do but everything they know is made up.

I told them that I'm fifteen and my birthday is August 29th (instead of April 3rd), my family lives in Maryland and I have a mom, dad, and older twin brothers named Dylan and Andy that are 19 years old.

I didn't mention Matt or my real dad, they can't know my legal name, they never will.

Last time I was sloppy with my work, Iverson found me quickly, but I did get information.

There was no crash, the Garrison is lying to everyone and now Keith is even more convinced it's aliens.

Keith.

No one has found him, no one knows where he is except for me, and he wants to keep it that way.

I was able to visit him one night.

He's living like shit, no internet, just a cork board that has maps and pictures connected with red string and a bed that can't be comfortable to sleep on.

I haven't seen him in a month and a half, and we haven't talked in two weeks, so I kind of miss him.

Though the worst part of being a different person?

I can't use Rover, Iverson would remember that 'Katie' used a AAC by that name and would automatically know it was me.

I tried to force myself to verbally talk, but I couldn't do it.

Lance and Hunk helped me when they realized that I was uncomforable talking verbally, and helped me make a sign langauge that we could all work with.

When they learned about Rover, they told me to use him instead if it made me more comforable, but Lance 'realized' why I didn't use him after he heard some kid making fun of me.

Sure, maybe subconsciously I didn't like using Rover in public because people find it weird, but that's not the main reason.

I could care less that people find Rover and I odd, Matt always made sure I knew that no one else's view mattered if they didn't like it, that he thought Rover was badass, especially since he made me feel safer and more comforable than if I was verbally talking.

But Matt isn't here right now, now Lance and Hunk are, two people that also deal with bullying every day like me.

They call Lance stupid and useless, plus they like to make fun of his accent and laugh when he forgets a word in English.

Hunk gets called fat and when word got around that he had two moms, a lot of people used that against him. 

But everything changed when we saw that ship crash.

Shiro was there, but he didn't recognize me (his boyfriends sibling, the asshole) or remember much of anything.

Keith was there too, he found Shiro before us, but I had to pretend like I didn't know him, even though both Lance and Hunk did.

We escaped the Garrison together and made it to Keith's 'house', where I could tell he had had a meltdown the night before or during the day, hell a knife was even stuck in the wall (a 'classic' Keith meltdown move in the time I've known him).

He explained his theories to us, it seemed like he hadn't found anything new since I last saw him, but it did trigger some memories in Shiro.

Yet, he still remembered nothing of my family, who he still did not know I was related to.

Then we found the Blue Lion, and Lance shot us into space.

We fought the Galra before wormholing to Arus, where we met Allura and Coran.

I was paired with the Green Lion, and I fell in love with her, she didn't mind when I stayed up all night in her hanger, using all the new technology to find my family.

So much more than I thought existed is now standing in my way, but I'll kill all Galra if it meant getting my family back.

I'm coming dad and Matt, I'm so close to you.

 


End file.
